Leave me your stardust

 I don't know what will work. This I'll-give-you-space-thing is not working well for me. Your absence is only giving my mind another chance to revisit our limited but precious moments together. And going down that road is like begging flame to touch my bare flesh. I know I shouldn't be there, I know I should direct myself to a better path. Yet, I can't seem to move myself from where I'm standing. My feet are glued to the ground. I don't know how, but nature has become a conspirator of my heart. It's keeping me to where I want to be, but not where I should be.

Love is, and has always been, a mutual agreement. Although it has been said that one love is usually greater than the other, and in our case, I seem to possess that big share, you're still expected to keep up with me and share just enough to get us by. But when you came to tell me, I should throw away every type of feeling that exists within me because there's no point in fighting for what we have, it was as good as asking the only bright star in my black sky to give up its light. With just that, you erased the agreement we never really had.

The hardest part about moving on isn't suppressing the memories or the fear that the absence might expand into years, it's the fact that you know you deserve more, and you still settle for less. Do you think I actually want to be stuck here? I am tired of feeling overwhelmed to plain nothing the next. I am tired of trying to stay in control of myself because I know that just one word from you, just one word, and I'd fall for you all over again.