August 25, 2009

It ends here.

 I'm on the road
To who knows where?
Look ahead, not behind
I keep saying
There's no place to go
Where you're not there
On your rope, I hold tight
But it's freeing 
Prodigal - One Republic

I'll wait until reason walks side by side with the music, until my mind finds a way to block every distraction and focuses on the rhythm alone. I'll wait until I am one with the song, and the message that lies behind it no longer bothers me. I'll wait until everything here makes sense. Until I am convinced that you are definitely worth the sacrifice. That not a word was wasted when I tried to explain what you mean to me. Because when it comes to love, we each have the right to interpret and express it according to our own chosen way. Regardless how ridiculous, corny, out-dated, or complex it would appear to other people.

And for what seemed like the first time in several years, in spite the heartache that went along with it, I felt real.  The pain has taught me what it's like to have a purpose in this world; how amazing it feels when you recognize that you are capable of caring for someone other than your own. That although you'd want nothing else but to keep your heart safe, you'd much rather see that that other person is holding out his end just as well as you are, or better. Because suddenly, you realize that the best kind of happiness depends on the happiness of those you care about.

We have agreed to surrender ourselves to the game, without declaring anyone the winner. We have agreed that it's better to keep things the way they are. Because the odds haven't been on our side, right from the start. Because it's better to evade from what we feel than to lose each other for something so uncertain. Because there's no need to hurry, what's meant to be is meant to be. Let fate unravel itself to us. And I'll wait until I am one with the song... until fate is one with me.

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